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Thursday, November 21, 2013

Cat or chicken? Now you can show your face. I'm waiting. Are you a cat or a chicken?

Tom and Jerry

Is that you I see, My little Tom? Should I go and hide? Should I call my mom? Will I be your meal? A snack of prey? Is it really you? Will you say? Cover your steps. I can see you tracks. I need more clues. I need more facts. .de doesn't give me much. I want to feel your skin. I want to feel your touch. You are the cat, I the mouse. Name the time and place, I will be at your house.

Tom Cats

They are night prowlers who stalk their prey quietly never missing their target. I too can be a Tom Cat. Pppprrrrrrrr.............

Ode to my fair lady

He took her away,
Like a terrible dream.
I wake in hot sweats,
Tears and screams.
I miss her today,
And will tomorrow too,
It's a wonder,
How I make it through .
My heart broken,
My soul is lost,
I could never imagine,
This bridge I've crossed.

Can't find inner peace,
Or the same level of love.
We will be together again,
If I have to see her up above.

In All I see c
In all I do,
i I will sit and wait.
My life for you!!! One thing is for sure We will be back together,
We will work it all out So that we last forever

Time out, or time locked up?

Do not push the red button!!!!!

A new me with an old desire

How do you concentrate when you are busy listening to the noise? The sound of electricity flowing through the power lines near a transformer. That sizzling static sound that confuses your thoughts and drowns out reality? What is reality anymore? Two pieces of old English blue patterned China that you have managed to turn into art? Is reality the dreams of a near distant past that you keep in your head that your phone will ring and her voice will be on the other end of the line? Is reality being Iritated, or is it when you are no longer phased by Iritation. You just let be what is! The tears still fall. The days still pass. The pain doesn't fade, and you are no further away than you ever were. Ssshhhhh.....

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

one more night. give me just one more night......

Kiss me

Hold me

Touch my face

Let me see you with your eyes closed inhaling us so close to one another.


Let me shudder.

Have a cigarette with me and recall how I was the one who got you smoking again -bad me!

Taste me.

Enjoy yourself and be free.

Lean back and really feel me there.

Kiss my neck.  Stare at me.

Love me.


extra extra read all about it...

Send your messengers and your recording devices.  Bring on the gps/ low jack stalking bullshit.....

I will fight your cheap army, and live or die, I love her and she loves me, and THAT is one thing you can't control.

Fuck yourself!  Have a smoggy day! ;)

Some things never change

Although I find myself in the midst of moving once again, I have found that I don't have to re-learn everything.  Facebook hasn't changed, and I get to keep my old phone world isn't going to go into self implosion mode now.  No "human" interaction nervous breakdowns for this chicky.  I still have my Facebook layout that hasn't changed (if it changes now, I do not take responsibility!!!)

A girls got to do what a girls got to do to make her connections and have her voice heard!!

I feel blessed and cursed to live in an era of cell phones!!


Let me explain.....I deserve an American trial. My voice should be heard!

Come to me. Let me explain. You were ill as was I.  I was gummied into the decisions that I made at the time.

You have never stopped feeling the air on your neck because I have never stopped breathing on it.

sssshhhhhh..........just lean back.  come to me..... 

How does she do it?

I felt I needed you  and found you near.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The Politics of the American Law.

So, just now, on CNN, I am watching a video apparently being recorded on a cell phone , and the video displayed a woman being dragged off of an airplane by what appears to be several policemen after she refused to turn off her cell phone.

Isn't there some irony to the way this story unraveled?


Wednesday, May 15, 2013


I feel for some reason really uninspired lately, and I try to battle through it, but it doesn't seem to want to fade.

I just finished school last week, so maybe I just need to take a step away from it all.

Thanks for reading.


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

multi talented

I could come on a work/ study visa to teach art to local children.

Just a thought!

The new hair cut

They say that when you let your stylist do what they wish, you are going through a change in your life.  Normally something pretty major.  It's a lot of times a spur of the moment idea that you decide to take the steps to actually get the hair actually cut.....

I wonder what her eyes look like.  I haven't seen into her beautiful eyes in such a long time now.

How has time gone by so fast.

I have a rock that is rusty color and is triangular in shape that I keep above my door that I look at every time I leave my apartment.

School is going great, and I am doing well.

The other side of my bed is still cold.

I have my studio in my other room.

It has a great view and I am right by the pool which is now warm enough here to use.

I feel you behind me.

Everyday and always have.


Saturday, May 4, 2013

Remember when

As I start my day I read a few blog entries that I read regularly, and I light my own cigarette and take a sip of my coffee and begin to write my own post.

I am taken back in time a bit as I think of that first cigarette that she had after a very long time of not smoking, and within a couple of days, she was back to being a full time smoker.

I loved the shape of her lips as she would take a drag off of her smoke.

I enjoyed our time together and feel strongly that the day will come where we will be back as one.

I can smell her hair when I focus.

She still has a beautiful spot for me in her heart just for me.

I found out what true love was when I met her, and that doesn't fade.

Every cigarette she lights up keeps us alive


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Time I Write

Well, things are almost over.  The separation has been rough, but it has been going on for 2 years now.

I have been really sad lately, and it just dawned on me why.

A great new life started for me a couple of years ago, and I turned them upside down with the help of manipulation while I was manic, and I lost my love forever.

Yes, I say my love.  She is my love.

Everytime she lights her cigarette, she thinks of me.

Our bond.  Our coffee, cigarette, and our knowledge that we can lean back and we will always feel the breath of the other gently on our necks.

I love you, forever. 

My book comes out May 18.  You will have to order it.  I do not have an address to ship it to.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

If you ever find love

It doesn't matter if you think this person is what you would consider your"norm", but maybe that has been the problem all along.

The normal isn't the same for everyone, and when that doesn't work, you need to reevaluate your plan.  If your"norm" girl seems to always break your heart, find someone who doesn't fit the characteristics of a girl that you would normally date, and you just might find exactly what you are looking for.

Be gentle and be slow if you want her to do the same in return.

Read things that she has written.  Find out who she is.

You do love her don't you??

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I share a birthday with Max

Today is my 36th birthday, and I happen to share it with some that are dear to me.

My dear friend, Max, sends his love today to Vin.
We both miss you on our special birthday!

Friday, February 8, 2013

who is it

I see you lurking.  across the border of the north.  who is it that seeks to me?

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

To Hell and Back

I thought that 2013 could only get better, but I have been to some sort of personal hellish state since the year has started.

I feel you there- holding me up.


Sunday, January 13, 2013


When you have a lot on your plate, and you are on a train that has no intentions of slowing down, you must just keep going and pick up your pace. A body in motion stays in motion.

You must put on a smile and let all of the positive things in life help you overcome all of the negatives.

Keep healthy and happy and hold your head high no matter the situation!

Keep the happiness in your soul and the love in your heart.

May your higher beliefs help you through!

Sunday, January 6, 2013



Gone before we were ready to let you go.

We will miss you, Mother, but you will forever be in happiness!


Saturday, January 5, 2013

letting go of the ghost that slips into my dreams at night...


Ana behibek


I can tell you apart.

I will never replace that time in my life.

I will go now and let it be.


ana behibak


Friday, January 4, 2013

Just a scare- I hope

So, I go tomorrow for an urgent mammogram due to an abnormal shaped lump in my right breast with several other "tmi" symptoms to go along with it.

To say the least, I'm a bit nervous!!




Thursday, January 3, 2013

To take in more than you can handle

Once you see something, or hear something, you can't erase it from your memory. Our brains are funny like that. They hold on to every minute thing that it has been exposed to. We may not always be aware of everything that we have trapped away in our brain, but everything is in there somewhere.  Lingering around. Trying our very being for everything it is. 

Knocking us down and kicking us when we least expect it.

How do we overcome things that we don't even know how to wrap our understanding around it?

I am sitting here almost lifeless from knowledge that I didn't want, and now that I have it, I don't know how to pick up and carry on the way that I did before.

I keep thinking that it was a dream, but when I wake up, I am hit with that same sick feeling in my stomach that reminds me that sometimes the truth hits us like a ton of bricks, and we will never be the same again.

I don't know how to swallow this.

I don't know how to accept the ugliness of the truth that I really already knew.

Just hope that I find a way to move past this, and I remember the saying, "This too shall pass."

need nursed to health

I was/am so happy to see you here.

I have been hit with the flu, and to have you close to me makes me feel your warmth.

I can feel the sea breeze from your end to mine.

I long for your healing touch.

Thank you for letting me see you here.
Your presence means so much to me.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Living on the edge

Who have you sent to be my messenger?

I believe it to you.

You could have someone to log in from home to throw me off.

I feel you in my bones.

Where else do I feel you?

In my .
Inside my entire being .

Like you have inhaled me into you, or I inhaled you.

The strength of this feeling has overcome me and sucked the life out of me.

Keep breathing me's intoxicating