The normal isn't the same for everyone, and when that doesn't work, you need to reevaluate your plan. If your"norm" girl seems to always break your heart, find someone who doesn't fit the characteristics of a girl that you would normally date, and you just might find exactly what you are looking for.
Be gentle and be slow if you want her to do the same in return.
Read things that she has written. Find out who she is.
You do love her don't you??